Goings On.

So I’m gonna share this treasure I found in my old school stuff. It’s a short story I had to right back in.. oh, probably 9th grade? Maybe? It’s called The Door.

    In the small town of Azbern, I had to go to school on a Saturday for over six hours. My mom said that it was only for the gifted and talented people.

    “Then why is Luke the Puke here?” I exclaimed. “Maybe very deep down, there is an intelligent little man in there,” she said, probably trying to convince herself more than me.

    “Very very deep,” I mumbled as I climbed out of the car, before she could say any more.

    I went to school as any person does: slowly and reluctantly. During the last fifteen minutes or so, we had a fire drill. The teachers kept yelling “everyone in a single file line!” and “Stay with the class!” and stuff like that. I’m in ninth grade! I think we know that by now. My class had to go to the parking lot where I found a set of very old looking keys that looked like they belonged to an old prison guard. When we went inside, I took them in to take them to the lost and found table, but I forgot to, as most people would expect.

    On my way back home, I remembered the keys a little too late. I told my mom about them and she took them from me to look at them.

    “We used to have a basement that we could get into, but we lost the key. It looked a lot like that ring there. It was a special place. It felt like we were in another world…” She trailed off. “Maybe you’d like to try it, just for laughs.”

    “I’ll try them. I don’t think that they’ll work though. Why would they just turn up after— how long?”

    She just looked at me funny, “27 years.” That surprised me.

    “27 years??! Wow! You are old!” I exclaimed comically.

    “Thanks,” she said sarcastically.

    I went down to that room that we never could get into, and put the key in. It fit.

    “All the old keys can fit into old locks,” I said out loud to nobody at all. I tried to turn it and it didn’t open, so I tried the next key and it fit too, but this one turned. I just shrugged and went in. As soon as I got in and closed the door, the room got brighter and looked like I was outside. But this place looked different— like computer animation. Just as soon as I stopped feeling light-headed, I just about got run over by what looked like those machines from that Dr. Suess book with the famous Butter Battle! Soon after that, two funny-looking, little men came back out and were standing on a huge wall holding up little red beans.

    “I wonder why they have beans,” I thought, then moved on, and saw the Tweedle Beetle Puddle Paddle Battle.

    “This is either the land of Dr. Suess, or where he got his ideas. Either that or it’s just a coincidence; but I doubt that one.” I was talking to myself again. Not a good sign. I thought my psychiatrist cured me of that. Hmmm…

    On my way to the brain stand, I saw the Cat in the Hat hop on pop, and a beach of weird-looking creatures with stars on their bellies, and some without. They were arguing about— well… nothing. When I got to the brain stand, I saw that they were having a sale, so I got one for my sister. She left hers on the school bus a few years ago and needed another. I saw a forest and thought, “I’ll just see if there’s anything similar in there.”

    When I got in, I saw a fuzzy little dude that called himself ‘The Lorax’ and he had a brother called ‘The Thorax.” I think the Lorax had the brains in the family. Who would want to be known as part of a bug? Theytold me not to buy a thneed, but I did anyway. They had three legs! You’d never guess who was selling them! It was Elvis and William Shatner! They were four for a dollar, so I bought some for everyone in my family. I was sure they would like them. I was wrong. They yelled at me and said that I’d stolen them. That insulted me. I’ve only stolen two things in my life!

    I went back to the beach, so I could see if they had all that one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish junk. I stopped by the Tweedle Beetle Puddle Paddle Battle and stole the Noodle-Eating Poodle, which was rather large so I could ride it, and rode it to the beach. They had the fishes, so I left.

    I went into town and saw a place that these creatures with one very long hair on top of their heads got them cut. I also saw this building where I think they made those exploding red beans. I almost got run over by Thing 1 and Thing 2 on the way to see if the Grinch was really alive, and had to feed the poor starving poodle. I looked at my watch and saw that I’d been there for about four and a half hours! I was starting to get hungry, too. I had to get home soon. Where do I get out of here?

    I asked the Cat in the Hat, but he didn’t know where I came from and only spoke in rhyme. Then I asked The Lorax and his brother Thorax, but they would only proclaim on how you should ‘save the truffula trees!’ and stuff like that. So I left them in search of the people that could help me get out of here so I could go home and eat, but nobody made sense but Elvis and William Shatner, and I’m not going to talk to them. One of them is dead, and the other is a Starfleet officer.

    I think that they’re all a bunch of nutbags myself. I tried to talk to the things with stars on their bellies, but they only spoke something like German, and I only speak English and Pig-Latin, so that doesn’t help. I tried the other creatures, but they didn’t help either. I ended up having to sleep in a Who-infested motel with Sam I Am and the Poodle for the night without supper. I had to steal some of the poodle’s noodles (which weren’t very tasty).

    In the morning, I told myself that if I saw Elvis or William Shatner, I’d ask them, even if I think they’re crazies, (which I do). I went over to the thneed stand where only Willaim Shatner was. “Where’s Elvis?” I asked.

    “The king’s gotta eat. Lunch break.” He replied.

    “Okay… Do you know how to get out of this place? Well, you probably wouldn’t be here if you did. Nevermind.”

    “Wait! I… do know… the way.”

    “Then, why are you here? You have all of your public back there. Oh yeah, where are we?” I asked, puzzled.

    “Znoroggin. It’s in the… other side of the .. known universe.. from Earth.”

    “Then why is it in my basement?”

    “I don’t know. It was in the dressing room on a movie set with me.”

    “So how do I get out?” I demanded.

    “Click your heels together and say ‘There’s no place like home’.. Oops. Sorry. Wrong escape. Just yell ‘I wanna go home’ really loud.”

    “I WANNA GO HOME!!!!” I yelled with gusto. The world disappeared. Just like that! I ran out of the basement and into the living room, and sat down. I had coffee and a danish, put on my thneed, and waited for my family to get home. And when they did get home, all they did was yell at me, and accuse me of stealing the thneeds. I should have stayed there!

The End.

Yep.